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They tried to tell me I couldn’t do it… so I did it anyway

Shortly after I was employed in my first ‘proper job’ (environmental science lab), I got ill. Not just a cough, cold, or flu, I got life alteringly ill.

I’d fought as hard as I could through glandular fever, but I collapsed at work one day, and that’s when the diagnosis came- M.E. Great, I have a name for this, I thought, therefore, there’s a cure! I couldn’t have been more wrong.

No cure, no medial help or intervention, just being ignored by an NHS I’d pinned all of my hopes on. And then there was work…

The treatment I received was disgusting. I was pushed, bullied, threatened, accused of lying, sent to the most terrifying psychiatric hospital (they had cells!) I’d started making jewellery to help with my depression, and my boss told me to stop, or they’d sack me.

The last thing that gave me joy and meaning, and they wanted to take it away from me? I was beyond caring if I lived any longer.

But with the help of a decent team of doctors, they fought for me. Enough that I then remembered who I was. That actually, I wasn’t at fault. They had no right to say these things or make these demands.

And so I did it anyway. I kept making jewellery, I kept saving myself in the only way I knew how to. I fought, and it nearly ended me, but I got my fiesty back, and I ran with it. I lost that job, and I still kept making.

And I’ve never stopped, because to me, it held everything in each item I made. It bought me so much joy, so much power.

And now I work for myself, around my health. I put all of my power into tangible talismans of wonder that help other people to fight, to speak up, to live.

I did it anyway, and I will be forever grateful that I did, because here I am, still standing, still showing the world that, actually, my light and story are worth something, and they can never take that away from me.

To all of my fellow warriors, we’ve got this, never let anyone underestimate you, you are worth so much more 💜

With love and positive vibes on International M.E awareness day,

Kirsty Xx